If you’ve spent any time with a tween or teen girl (or if you can recall from your own adolescence) you may have experienced the inevitable eye roll.
As annoying as it might be, it’s simply a physical expression that conveys,
“I-am-really-just-trying-to-keep-it-all-together-and-not-have-a-meltdown.”
Teenage girls, struggling to understand the flux of emotions and gain control of them as they well up, attempt to keep themselves in check by rolling their eyes instead of verbalizing concerns, struggles and even hurt feelings. This helps them “save face” and stay in control without appearing weak or childish and perhaps even prevent a breakdown.
The teenage years can be a stressful time for both parents and teenagers, alike. Understanding the hidden meaning and undertone of an eye roll can help minimize the struggle between parent and child. After all, there is already enough strain on this evolving relationship without misunderstanding her gesture to help her manage her own growing pains.
If you have a daughter, sunshine, you know how essential it is to keep the lines of communication open and give her a safe place to share her concerns, questions and struggles. So the next time she rolls her eyes, don’t be surprised or annoyed; instead help her explore her emotions and ask the questions that help her emote in a healthy way that doesn’t simply dismiss the feeling, even if it means tears and a breakdown.
Take the time to explore these issues now, so you (and she) are not paying for them later.
With love from one of the villagers helping raise confident, strong, and healthy girls, Frannie |
