My dearest sweetness,
I know this might come as a shock to you, but I can’t go on with you in my life any longer.
I’ve realized that our relationship is toxic—my dependency upon you is unhealthy.
I know. You’ve been a part of my life for so long that it seems like we’ve never known life without one another.
Some of my earliest memories of our relationship began with Zebra cakes and Nutty Bars; you, me, and Little Debbie—it seemed like we’d be best friends for life.
But then we expanded our circle. You introduced me to Duncan Hines, Betty Crocker, and wow—Snickers really rocked my world! I loved meeting and hanging out with you and all of your friends!
The memories we shared were plentiful.
Cakes smothered in Crisco mixed with powdered sugar, aflame with candles. Delish.
Pillowcases filled with individually wrapped morsels that I collected from neighbors and strangers.
Late summer nights indulging in Dairy Queen’s signature peanut buster parfait.
Ah. I smile just thinking of our times together.
But you were not just there during the fun times.
You comforted me when others name called, “Tons of Fun, Miss Piggy, Thunder Thighs.”
You helped me through the disappointment when Coach Hunyadi told me I didn’t make the 9th grade volleyball team because I was too slow and there was no uniform to fit me.
You were the best Friday night date when no boys ever dared to ask me out.
You offered acceptance when it seemed all I ever experienced was rejection.
You provided solace and companionship.
You comforted me the way no one else could.
Or so I thought.
When I began expanding my social circles, you became jealous and possessive.
You told me that no one would ever love me the way you did.
You tried to win me back.
You continued to tempt me—even from the most bizarre places. Do you remember the time when I helped you out and rescued leftover cake from the garbage?
You even lured me in with charity—surrendering to the darling little girl at the Giant Eagle entrance with her green sash and numerous badges only to devour the box of Samoas before I ever left the parking lot. But you assured me it was for a good cause.
And when I started my relationship with healthier companions—fruits, vegetables, and lean protein, you became really angry.
You were no longer number one in my life.
I began putting myself first.
And it felt great!
My body began changing, and I wanted less and less of you.
This was so liberating and freeing.
I realized that I was worthy of love, and I deserved a good life beyond a tray of brownies.
And the less I had of you, the more of the good things I was able to enjoy—not just healthy foods, but treadmills, rollerblades, hiking, swimming, skiing…there were so many things I never knew with you!
I don’t want you to think I regret our relationship. I mean, at one time I did, but I don’t anymore. I realized through God’s grace that our relationship actually helps me help others now, and for that I am grateful.
I can relate to others’ pain.
To their addiction.
To their unhealthy indulgence.
Sugar, you are not bad, it’s just my dependency on you was.
My desire to put you before everything was so unhealthy; it consumed me. Literally.
While we still meet on occasion, you are not my go-to companion anymore.
I still love you, sugar, but I love myself more.
I wish you only the best, my sweet confection, but I need to be honest…I am on a mission to help others end their unhealthy relationship with you, so be prepared to go down.
With heapfuls of cauliflower and kale,