You are not defined by a number
I walked zombie-like down the long-freshly waxed corridor dreading what would await me at the end of the hallway.
Single-file, Kevin Fetsko in front of me and Brian Gerbasi behind me, I felt the butterflies flutter frantically in my stomach and my heart beat wildly in my chest. My navy knee-socks slouched around my ankles; obviously my calves were not considered “one-size fits all” like the packaging suggested.
In typical Catholic-school fashion, we waited in silence along the brick wall until the school nurse summoned each of us to step upon the scale for our annual height and weight measurements.
This was torture, sunshine. Seriously, in my 8-year-old-world, this was the equivalent of capital punishment. No matter how many spankings I had gotten from Sr. Veronica, I would’ve taken a 1,000 more whacks than to step on that scale in front of my classmates–especially since I had really “super-sized” over the last year.
I was the tallest, heaviest, largest shoe-size, biggest jumper wearing and most unattractive member of Ms. Molinari’s 3rd grade class–and I had lots of quantitative data to support the claims (and photographic evidence to boot–see above–YIKES!)
It was horrible. And it was cyclical.
Because I was so ashamed of my weight, I found solace and comfort in more food–something that would never make fun of or judge me. Betty Crocker and Little Debbie were my besties.
Thank God I no longer have to have annual mandated weigh-ins, but more importantly I thank God He found me in my darkest hours. He poured love and grace into me and I no longer determine my value or worth based upon a number.
I know I am enough. Period.
I am made in God’s image, and I am divinely designed the way that He intended–flaws and all (and boy, there are many!)
The difference now is I love myself enough to invest time and resources into my health and above all, I love God and want to honor Him by being my healthiest so that I may follow His plans for my life–the ones that He has perfectly planned just for me.
What about you, sunshine? Are you seeking your value from the number on a scale? “Friends” on Facebook? Digits to the left of the decimal in your bank account? Your bra size? Square footage of your house?
If any of these resonate, it’s time to slow down and check in, sunshine. You are worthy. Period.
Although I believe you are worthy, don’t listen to what I say; listen and believe The Truth.
With love for you to believe your worth beyond a number,