Silence is golden.
At the beach.
But not when your 12-year-old daughter drops an explosive bomb of information that leaves you reeling in a state of shock, wondering: what-do-I-say-so-that-I-am-not-showing-a-negative-reaction-so-that-she-will-never-talk-to-me-about-sensitive-information-again?
This was (and is often) a situation that parents reach out wondering, “What do I do?”
In a state of urgency and inquiry, this mom called me for some coaching.
Flummoxed.
Exasperated.
In shock by some information–including photos–that her daughter shared with her from her-hand-held-database-of-all-things-important to any millennial teen or tween.
Long story short: her daughter relayed play-by-play-details–with photographic evidence–from Friday night happenings at a classmate’s house–which thankfully her daughter was not included.
The pictures and details revealed a tween version of 50 Shades of Gray .
My client was appalled.
Thankfully, in previous sessions, we “rehearsed” what to say (and how to react) WHEN–not IF–this scenario happens.
I applauded her calm, empathetic reaction and her ability to lead her daughter to think critically about the situation, circumstances, and consequences–going deeper and projecting further than just “here and now.”
Rehearsed prompts such as, “How do you think the girls will feel when they go back to school on Monday?” and “What do you think about these pictures?” were powerful tools to get her daughter to dive deeper into the emotional state of her classmates’ behaviors and actions.
We discussed the gift that her daughter gave her—the gift of vulnerability through conversation–her willingness to seek clarity and meaning when she asked, “Mom, why would they do this?”
Communication is a powerful–and priceless–foundation for any strong relationship.
Support your daughter to be able to think, act, feel–and share.
Your bond is a powerful one, sunshine.
One that has implications for her overall health–for the rest of her life.
My client’s daughter’s gift of gab is a gift to open again and again.
My client is ready–and prepared--to receive this gift over and over.
Her daughter feels it.
Her daughter knows it.
Their relationship is being strengthened with each play-by-play chat.
I would love to help you learn tools to open the gift your daughter wants to share with you, too, sunshine.
Contact me to have the tools ready for when, not if, you will need them. Coaching